Cowards in the Smoke
by Pouf Forayer
Summary: "Hinata Hyuga is an S-rank missing-nin. Your orders are clear: Kill on sight."


"_Wake, butterfly -  
It's late, we've miles  
To go together."_

_- Matsu Basho, 1690_

* * *

_._

**.**

**.**

_"Ne, your daughter is so cute, Hyuuga-sama," cooed a rough looking woman one day in the park, breaking several rules of etiquette as she patted the young Hyuuga heir on the head. Hinata didn't mind and even smiled up at this familiar looking woman as her mother held her hand. She liked being called cute, especially since Neji-nii called her that all the time._

_"Inuzuka-san," said Ko, who had been just a teenager then, as he rushed forward to stop the societal offence taking place. Himawari Hyuuga, Lady of the Hyuuga clan, held a halting hand to her bodyguard, not once taking her eyes off the other woman. Hinata watched as Ko faltered before nodding and stepping back behind his lady, a look of pure self-loathing on his face. _

_"Thank you very much, Tsume-san," The Lady Hyuuga said with a gentle smile and a small bow. Hinata copied her mother, though with far less grace. "She is very cute indeed, though I wonder how useful that will be when she goes into the academy," said her mother effortlessly, striking up a conversation with the woman who would one day become one of her closest friends._

_"Ja! She's going to become a shinobi!? That one looks too sweet to get all bloodied up out there," Tsume said, intending for it to be a compliment. All it did was remind Hinata of yet another wayward training session with her father that morning. Reassuringly, her mother squeezed her hand._

_"Why yes," her mother laughed delicately. "I think my little Hinata may be just a bit too sweet for the battlefield . . ." _

_._

_._

.

A full moon hung high in the sky.

Hinata tried not to think, tried not to feel, as she leapt from branch to branch, heart beating erratically, eyes watering. Menacing and horrible, the forest closed in around her. Every whispering wind forced her to run faster. _Shinobi hide in the wind_, her mother had once told her. And Hinata clung to fairytales and childish nightmares as she faltered for the umpteenth time.

* * *

**Cowards in the Smoke  
Flee 1.01**

* * *

**January 27  
Tungzi Forest, Land of Fire**

Currents of wind blew through the dark forest like a secret. It whistled through the trees and scared the crows off their perches in fits of cawing and rustling wings. A full moon rose above the treetops. It lit the dirt road brilliantly - a white ribbon curving through what the locals called Devil's Woodland. Every year, around the winter solstice, a rash of villagers would report seeing demons dancing just beyond the trees. Sometimes, it wasn't demons, but dark priestesses summoning evil spirits, or ogres chomping on human bones. One even told of a pale, one-eyed child lost in the path, only to disappear moments later.

Devil's Woodland, the villagers said, was a cursed place.

Except, villagers, by nature, were simple people. And simple people told tall tales to alleviate the boredom of their day to day lives. They were fortunate enough to know only whispers of the truth. They didn't know that creatures worse than demons lurked in the forest. They thought it was all just a joke. So when haggard River soldiers camped the night out in their village, they told them of the horrible stories of what lay before them once they entered the forest, thinking it would frighten them. It did, of course, but the men had seen things far more horrible than oni and witches. They feared creatures who could stop their hearts with just a look, who could disappear in a blink of an eye. And when asked why they were moving at such a grueling pace into a forest where demons resided, the soldiers all shared a tired look:

It was better to face demons than to remain even one second longer beside Konoha shinobi.

A long line of soldiers meandered down the moonlit path. It had rained just a few hours earlier and scent of it still hung in the air. The men trudged through the puddles, and maneuvered their horses and carts around them. Lanterns guided them, but did nothing to dispel the cold darkness that settled deep in their bones. A nervous lull settled over them as they walked. Despite their apparent exhaustion, they had the energy to glance shiftily into the looming forests. Soon enough, the men were bumping into each other, tangling the horses, and jumping at every little noise.

"_Knock it off!" _An angry looking man yelled from the side of the road – the commanding officer telling from his uniform – effectively scaring the wits out the entire company. "We don't have time for you to piss yourselves because of the big bad forest – did I say to stop moving – you can walk and listen at the same damn time! If you poor bastards are so eager to see something scary, I'll show ya true horror if you don't _hurry the fuck up!" _

Crouching in the treetops, Hinata watched the soldiers as they jumped into motion. A flurry of movement as they simultaneously quickened their step, quick to their hang their heads so to avoid their commander's harsh gaze. The man reminded her of her father with his disapproving stare and hard stance – her hands started to shake. She needed to go back, _no, no, it's too late now. _Adrenaline coursed through her veins and her hands shook violently as she desperately looked for a way into the convoy who was now moving twice as fast. Now or never. _Go. Go now. _

Hinata haphazardly leapt from the branch and over the heads of the commander and his jittery men. She was little more than a black flash in the night, something peculiar in the corner of their eyes. Wind whipped past her and fluttered her coat before she sloppily landed at the back of a particularly large covered cart, stuffed full to the brim with hay. A wave of nausea hit her, and Hinata wobbled on her feet. Not again. She was going to pass out soon, she could feel it. Blackness eased into the corners of her vision and she was forced to deactivate her byakugan.

For three days she'd been running. For three days she'd been evading death. At first, she could barely function. She was sure she was in shock, trying to disassociate herself from the fear that tore through her body like a terrible black storm. It worked – everything passed in a blur. She couldn't remember much except the ground that raced beneath her feet. The only thing that stuck out was the man's words: _Head for the army passing through Tungzi Forest. Catch a ride. Do not stop until you get there, unless you prefer to rot in the ground, girl._

Hinata listened because exhaustion was better than dying.

Chest heaving, she looked behind her. Not a single soldier noticed their bloodied hitchhiker, and if they did their eyes quickly moved over her as if she wasn't there. A genjutsu – not particularly powerful, but these were normal men she was dealing with. Her stomach roiled and she curled over in pain, trying not to vomit. The genjutsu sucked at her empty chakra reserves – a dangerous thing. People had died from going past their breaking point, and here she was, continuing on empty, and wholly over her head in every single way. _Calm down, you're almost there. _Hinata took a deep breath and straightened.

There was no time to waste.

She threw the leather flap of the cart open and crawled into the small space remaining between the tops of the haystacks and roof. It was dark with barely any light filtering through the wooden side panels, but it was dry. On hands and knees, she carefully picked her way across the stacks until she reached the very front of the cart. She praised the gods when she spotted, in the very corner of the cart, a place where a stack was missing, which created a nook that was just large enough for her to curl in and remain hidden if anyone decided to peek inside. She skittered towards it and unceremoniously plopped into the recess.

_Am I safe now? _She thought, staring up at the ceiling.

**ooo**

"What are you doing, Hinata?" asked her mother.

"Mama, you're dead." Hinata stood behind her mother as she clipped the weeds from their shared garden. Now that she thought about it, that garden had been dead a long time as well – eleven years now. The peonies and roses had shriveled up within a month after her mother had died. Yet here they were, vivid and bright as they had once been in her mother's pale hands. She never did like to wear gloves. Everything else was covered – from her broad sun hat to her modest summer yukata, but she liked to touch the dirt with her bare hands. She said it made her feel closer to the earth.

"Yes, love, I know," she said gently as she snipped another stem. "Now answer mama's question."

"I-I'm starting a new life."

"Hm, And why would you ever do that?" Snip.

Hinata thought about it for a moment. All the while, her mother gently hummed to herself as she tended her garden.

" . . . I cannot tell you, mama." She moved to stand beside her mother so she could see her face, but her mother turned away and began to work on another section of the garden. Bluebells, this time.

Lady Himawari did not say anything for a long time. Above, clouds shifted over the sun, patterning them in shade. Her mother leaned in close to the bundle of bluebells and said, "These are your favorite flowers, yes?"

"Yes," said Hinata fondly. When she was young, she and her mother would gently pluck a petal from each bluebell that grew and pressed it in one of the many journals that Lady Himawari kept in her study. Hinata still had those journals tucked away in her room, beneath her bed in a lacquered red chest. One day she hoped to give them to Hanabi. It would never be replacement for the mother her younger sister never knew, but it would be something. "I think I'll plant more in my new home, mama, wherever that may be." Hinata was said to be an exact replica of her mother, and when she smiled it was like looking at Himawari reborn. She smiled, if only to show her mother the legacy she left behind. "I'll put them in front where everyone can see, just like you use-"

Lady Himawari yanked the bluebells out of the ground, roots and all. Then, without looking at her daughter, she tossed the brutalized flowers to the side where they landed at Hinata's feet.

"No, don't do that dear. If you do that, then people might think you're my daughter."

Hinata's smile faded. "W-w-what? Mama, what are y-you talking about?" She glanced between the flowers and her mother who had gone completely still. "I _am_ your daughter . . ."

As if surprised, Himawari let out a laugh, a tinkling sort of laugh that sounded like wind chimes. Lady Himawari was not a beautiful woman, but her laughter had always made the room light up. Her mother's laughter had always been a part of Hinata's favorite memories. But now it sounded warped. It felt wrong. Hinata felt her stomach drop. Impulsively, she reached out towards her mother. As she was about to touch her, her mother turned abruptly, still laughing, and showed her face for the first time.

Hinata faltered.

Himawari's face was rotting away.

Maggots crawled out from her empty eye sockets and fell into her smiling mouth. "Oh, dear girl, I do not have cowards for daughters."

A black, twisted horror began to form in her chest as Hinata feebly backed away. "I-I'm not a c-c-coward."

Another laugh. "But you are. You're a little lying whore, and little lying whores cannot be Hyuuga. I cannot have any association with you, dear. It would be a disaster for the family. Speaking of which-"

"Stop it, mama."

"Oh, no, no, remember, you're not my daughter dear girl. I'm not your _mama. _Now what was I saying . . ." Himawari tapped a decaying finger to her lip in a mock thinking pose. " . . . Oh, yes, now I remember. They're going to find you. You can't run. You shouldn't have even tried."

" . . . please stop."

"A 'new life', you said? How naïve. Oh, how I should have listened to your father. You really are pathetic, aren't you dear? And now you're in delicate con-"

"_Be quiet!"_

**ooo**

Hinata's eyes snapped open.

The sweet smell of hay filled her nose. Early blue dawn light filtered between the cart's wooden planks. _That's right. I'm safe for now, _she thought simply after the moment of disorientation passed. For a moment, Hinata didn't move, afraid that she was still in the nightmare. She breathed once, twice, deep sleepy gulps of air that cleared away the image of her mother's corpse from her mind.

Sitting up, Hinata reached into her coat pocket and fished out a small, silver locket from out her pocket. Kiba had surprised her with it the day she became a chunin. It wasn't much, he had said, but she loved it all the same. Little did he know that it was one of the few things she had left in her possession. She lifted it up to the dim sunlight and opened it. Inside were two photos. On one side was her genin team photo. Kiba had put that in there himself and she never replaced it. On the other side was a sepia tinged photo of her and her mother. They were supposed to be in a traditional sitting pose, but Himawari opted to smile gently down at the toddler seated in her lap.

"Ne, mama, please don't hate me. I know I'm a coward and weak, but please don't hate me . . . okay?"

She swept her thumb over the glossy print. No tears came on that quiet dawn morning. No startling revelations or decisions at the back of that hay cart. The only thing that came to her was the sinking feeling that came with knowing her mother was looking down from heaven with a frown on her face. _Hyuga, _she would've said, _is all we have. The blood in our veins and the love in our hearts belong to this clan. We are honor personified, Hinata. Always remember that. _

"I love you mama, and I love our clan," said Hinata quietly. " . . . But I can't be honorable in this."

She softly pressed the locket to her lips, as if she were kissing her mother on the cheek again. "Please watch over us, mama, even if I'm a disgrace."

Outside, the birds started to sing.

* * *

Eighteen hours into her journey and she was about to lose her mind.

Sequestered away in her little nook, with no food or water, and with nothing to do but sleep and pray for her bladder to wait just a little longer. She was about ready to bust the hay cart open and reveal herself to the entire convoy. Not to mention it was chilly and her sweater now lay torn to shreds days behind (along with most of her necessities).

_I'm an idiot, _she thought bitterly.

Once upon a time she had thought that solitary confinement was a soft, ineffectual punishment for criminals, but now that she was actually living it, she realized it was cruel. Being forced from human interaction for little under a day had her head spinning in circles and her heart beating it faster (though it may've been that she was severely exhausted). It almost made her feel sorry for Sasuke Uchiha, who upon returning to Konoha had been immediately arrested and put into a cell for three months of isolation. _Almost.  
_  
Sasuke was important to Naruto, yes, and she tried to consider that. Yet time after time all she could think about when she looked at his pale face and dark eyes was all the people that he had hurt in his quest for revenge and power. Maybe men like Sasuke Uchiha deserved solitary confinement. Maybe they deserved more.

"Hey, how much longer?"

The voice of a soldier outside the cart startled her out of her reverie.

"Not too long now. Maybe an hour until we're at the border, but then we have to go through processing and all that stuff as soon as we get there."

"Man, what a bother."

And then their voices were gone.

_This was a horrible idea. _

They arrived at the border shortly. Good thing too. It had gotten to the point where she began to count the number of planks that made up the sides of the cart (forty-seven) and how many golden hay stacks there were (presumably nineteen). It didn't help that she'd spontaneously developed allergies to hay in that hour and dark red splotches spread over her arms along with a horrible itch that had her wiggling where she sat.

But then the dull monotony of the trip was broken once the soldiers saw the Great Walls of Kawa. The soldiers began to hoot and cheer and it made Hinata felt better instantly though she could not see the gates themselves. It had apparently been a long war for them, one they hadn't been prepared for. Most of them hadn't seen their families for months. Hinata vaguely wondered if she would miss her family as much as these men missed theirs.

"All right! I'm going to need all of you to form a single file line as you're processed. This will take a while. All cargo and shipments will be heralded to the front of the line for inspection!" Ordered a voice from outside

Suddenly, the cart lurched as it was pushed to front of the gates. Bile built in her stomach and she fought to keep it down.

"This is the hay shipment, yes?" Asked the voice from earlier. "Good, all right boys, go ahead and take a look inside."

_Oh no, _thought Hinata. They shuffled round the cart until they reached the back. Hinata yanked a hay stack on top of her just as the flap flew open, letting bright light shine into the small dark space.

"You see anything?"

There was a pause as one of the men did a quick look over of the produce. "Nah, I don't see nothin' but hay. What do they expect us to find?"

"Beats me. C'mon, now we gotta go drag it to the warehouse before the boss man gets back and starts nagging at us."

Hinata tried to quiet her breathing as they pushed the cart. She listened as they made small talk. Soon enough, the sounds changed from the soldiers talking at the check point to what was unmistakably the sound of a bustling city nearby. Instantly, she though back to what she had learned when she was child, but couldn't remember anything more than Kawa bordered the land of fire and that its main export was fish.

Normally she had a very good memory, but the excitement coursing through her clouded her mind.

_I didn't think this far ahead, _she thought. The moment she left Konoha she had expected to be caught. But now . . .

"I did it," she said in quiet awe. A bubble of joy bounced around in her chest, distracting her from all her fears and guilt, if only for just a moment.

* * *

She waited that night.

As soon as the warehouse was devoid of people, Hinata slipped from out of the hay cart. When her feet touched the concrete ground she almost passed out from sheer disbelief. _I can't believe this is actually happening. _However, her euphoria didn't last long when her legs fell out from under her.

"Ah!" Hinata crumpled to the floor. Apparently, her body was still healing. Hinata hadn't noticed earlier because she happened to be running for her life, but now it was exacting revenge upon her by bathing her in waves of sharp, acute pain. Wincing, she stood up slowly and began to limp through the warehouse. She didn't sense any guards posted anywhere around the tin hanger, though that could've been her own incompetence. Either way, Hinata took this for good luck, but actually knew it was because Kawa really had nothing worth stealing. It was a remarkably amiable country that provided more government assistance to its citizens than the five great countries combined, making the need to pilfer and steal non-existent. Despite this, Kawa remained too small for the countries to bother with, let alone acknowledge. Oh, how proud Iruka-sensei would've been if he knew she still remembered what he taught them.

Her legs wobbled as she made her way towards a side door. She weaved around huge shipments of cargo in metal containers, wondering why there wasn't a better organization method to all this madness. It reminded her of a labyrinth almost, and at the end was her freedom.

Finally, she reached the door.

A heavy chain wrapped around the handle, barring anyone from entering. Hinata undid the chain with shaky hands and it slipped to the ground with a metallic thud. She shoved the large iron door open with a grunt. She was immediately pushed back by a gust of wind. Hinata raised her arms over her eyes and trudged forward into the current. As soon as she was far enough, the sheer force of the wind slammed the door shut behind her.

Hinata would've startled had it not been for the sight before her. Her arms dropped to her side even as the wind whipped her hair and clothes around her.

The warehouse was situated on a hill that overlooked the capital of Kawa, giving her full vantage point of her new home. A sparkling city far larger than Konoha lay before her. It was huge, with bright twinkling lights of yellow, green and red. It was like looking into a field of stars. She recalled a vague fact from her childhood - they called this place Three Point City on account of the three rivers that ran through it. It was the main economic hub of Kawa. If she looked closely enough she could see the rivers twining and swirling between buildings and under bridges, catching and reflecting all the light of the city.

The city wasn't as beautiful as Konoha at night, but Hinata had feeling that nothing would ever compare to her home town. But still, it took her breath away.

Here, there were no Hyuuga, no marriage contracts, no looming sense of dread.

"I made it . . ." Hinata took a deep breath of the new air. It smelled fresh and crisp. Tears formed in the corner of her eyes. This was her new beginning.

She was a coward, she knew this. She couldn't stand on her family or friends anymore. If they even wanted anything to do with her. No, Hinata needed to do this on her own. She needed to be free. At least with her gone, no one would be forced to help her burden her mistake. Her mistake- it was the only thing she had left now. Hinata slipped her hands over her stomach and traced the material there. It was cold outside, and her hands were turning blue, but at least inside her jacket it was warm.

This was the path she had chosen, and she could never return to her home, didn't even consider it, because she was pregnant.

.

.

.

* * *

**Read, review. Constructive criticism is always appreciated.**

Disclaimer:

We all know I don't own anything in Naruto. The only thing I claim is this weird plot I'm about to unravel for y'all.


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